bwahahaha! i’m reposting my friend Jenny’s entry at her blog.
Thanks jen, for making me laugh so hard tonight : )
Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?
Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?… Ah yes, for a while. Please
Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will
Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.
Army officer to cadet: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?"
Officer: "Ok, why?" (anlabo!)
Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered
Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What's wrong? It's a beautiful film starring Bros Welles!
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!
Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.
A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.
by slow, we will success.
Teacher: Sorry, class. I'm late. My mother died three years ago. And
now she's dead. (Ano daw?!)
Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma'm, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!
Teacher: What is ur name?
Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)
In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.
Mom interviews her daughter's suitor:
Mom: What's your course?
Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh… Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)
Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in
Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your
Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line
and pass out slowly.
Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your
mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in
front of me, right here, right now!
Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best
friend, and neither do I!
Student: Miss may "s" yon…
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!
Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.